Tough
by Grimmster Girl
Summary: After his trip to Canada, Barney wants to learn more about Robin's past, but reliving the past can sometimes bring back raw, painful memories. (Established Swarkles, set season 8 and shortly after the series finale)


**Authors Note: Hi friends! I was looking through my phone and found a bunch of old fanfics that I wrote over the summer and never got to posting, so I thought now was as good of time as ever! Hope you enjoy, and stay tuned for more stories soon!**

* * *

It all starts when Barney's in Canada trying to track down the guys that Robin used to stalk. He's interviewing her ex-boyfriends, and one of them mentions a name and immediately shudders.

"No one else mentioned his name, who is he?" Barney questions the Canadian who's sitting across from him and eating an apple fritter.

"Just one of Robin's ex-boyfriends. But she'd have no reason to stalk that man."

"Why?" Barney continues questioning incessantly.

"That's a conversation you out to have with your fiancé, eh? I mean I'm sure she's told you all about her post-Sparkles teenage years and early twenties in Canada, eh?" He states as if it were obvious.

Barney nods his head in confusion and pretends to know what he's talking about. He pretends like he knows all about Robin when in reality he seems to know nothing about her past.

* * *

Barney waits a few nights before saying anything to Robin. He finally brings it up when they're lying in bed, her head on his chest, and his arm wrapped around her back.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" He questions nonchalantly.

"What's this about, Barney?" She asks, her eyes remaining closed.

"I just feel like you never tell me much about your life in Canada, you know? I want to know more about your beginnings."

"Really?" Robin is so taken aback that she opens her eyes and shifts so she can look up at him. He frowns at the missing weight. "You want to know more about Canada?"

Barney just rolls his eyes and doesn't say anything, so she continues, "I don't really like to talk about it. I went from hockey player to Canadian pop star to journalist and then I moved to New York and met you guys. End of story." She states, with a tone of finality.

Barney doesn't pry because he doesn't want her to be mad with him and he's too tired to start a fight, so he just nods, "Okay, but you can still tell me anything."

Robin smiles and leans up to kiss his lips, before lying her head back on his chest. "Goodnight, Barney."

* * *

It's four months into their marriage on a typical Sunday night, and Robin's lying with her back against the armrest of the couch, her socked feet on Barney's lap. She's lazily watching the news and he's catching up on his blog when she hears the last name she'd ever want to hear on slip from the reporter's mouth.

Robin perks up immediately, her feet sliding off her husband's lap until she's sitting defensively towards the tv. Barney notices the missing weight immediately and looks up, muttering a "what's wrong, babe?". But it's too late because Robin's already on her feet, making her way to the bathroom.

She can feel the tears burning in her eyes and suddenly she feels young and stupid again and she hates crying in front of people and all she wants to do is get away from Barney.

"Robin!" He calls after her, but by the time he's up on his feet the door has already slammed shut and the lock clicked. Barney tries to open the door anyways, because he can hear Robin's soft sobs on the other side and they're breaking his heart, but it won't budge.

Barney leans both hands on the door with his forehead pressed up against it and he tries, "Robin, please talk to me," but she's sitting against the far corner of the room against the wall across from the sink, and her knees are hugged tightly to her chest, her head hanging low.

Her head is throbbing because she can hear the voice in her head telling her she's not good enough, that she needs him to get by. Her head is throbbing because she can feel his hands on her body and she's trying to fight back to tell him "no", but he won't listen. Her head is throbbing and her hands are covering her ears, her body trembling with repressed memories.

 _"C'mon honey, I've had a really rough day."_

"No!" She mutters, trying to block out the voices in her head.

 _"You whore! You're nothing without me!"_

"No!" The tears are streaming down her cheeks in a steady waterfall, soaking through her t-shirt. "Stop!" Robin's squeezing her eyes shut and everything hurts like it did back then and she can't seem to make the pain go away.

"Robin! Please, let me help you!" She hears him calling from outside the door in the back of her head but she can't seem to make herself focus on Barney's words, instead lost in her own painful memories.

 _His hands are on her waist and she's squirming to get away, but it's no use. He's gripping her face in his hands so tight that she knows it's going to leave a bruise in the morning. She jerks her head away when he tries to kiss her and all of the sudden she feels a sharp stinging on her cheek from where he just slapped her._

 _"C'mon hun," He purrs maliciously. "There's no use trying to fight it, I own you."_

Robin can still hear his sick voice, low and shrill, and she hates him and she hates herself for taking so long to recognize that she was in an abusive relationship. She hates herself for being weak and codependent and for having such low self-esteem that she stayed with that monster for months.

"Robin," Barney's words come out as a plea and he can feel the tears sliding down his cheeks. All he wants to do is help her. He wants to know what's wrong, and he wants her to be happy again.

It's several minutes before she's pulled out of her trance enough to recognize her husband's call from the other side of the door.

"Go away," she tries lamely, but the words come out in a choke.

"No," he responds. "Unlock this door, and tell me what's going on."

Barney can hear Robin break down once more, but she attempts to stifle her sob.

"Robin, please." He says to the door. "I married you because I love you, and marriage means that all your burdens are mine too. Marriage means that you don't have to suffer alone, that you share your struggles with me, so that we can help each other. Just please let me in." He pleads, and just as he's about to continue he can hear footsteps towards the door.

He takes a step back, as she unlocks it. When Robin swings the door open her eyes are bloodshot, her cheeks tear stained, and her cotton tshirt has a large wet mark from her tears. She glances up at his eyes for just a moment before Barney takes the step forward, pulling her into his arms.

Her face is buried in his chest when she starts crying again, this time stifling the sobs in his shirt. Barney notices how she cries with her whole body, and he pulls her even closer, refusing to let go. His hand is rubbing large circles on her back, his head in her hair.

"Shhhhh, it's okay," he whispers, noting that he was never good at comforting people, but with Robin it feels natural.

They stay there for a while, holding each other, until Robin starts to calm down, the tears only slipping from her eyes silently. When she pulls away, Barney takes her face in his hands, and kisses her forehead.

"I love you," he whispers. "And whatever it is, we'll get through it together." Robin looks down away from him, but a gentle hand under her chin pulls her gaze back up. "I promise."

* * *

It takes a couple hours, and a couple quarts of ice cream for Robin to finally tell Barney the whole story about what happened. Barney is patient with her, nodding along when she needs encouragement, and comforting her with a hand rubbing small circles on her back when she needs support.

The whole scene looks kind of silly from an outsider's perspective: a handsome man in a suit and a pretty young woman in a t-shirt and leggings, both shoveling in ice cream from the container, both crying on a couch. It seems silly, but afterward Robin feels free. She feels like there's been an unbearable weight lifted from her shoulders.

Barney is the last person she thought she would be discussing her past relationships with, but it turns out he was the best at listening. Lily would have pitied her, Marshall would have felt uncomfortable, and Ted would've tried to find some crazy solution to her problem. None of them would've looked at her the same again if she told them.

Barney was different though. Barney listened without pity, without trying to solve her problems, and on some level Robin thought he understood what she went through. It made them closer. It broke down her walls and his came crumbling in the weeks after. And he never looked at her differently. She was still the fierce, strong, badass of a woman he married a few months ago. If anything, it brought them all that much closer.

Robin still thought about her lonesome days in Canada from time to time. Sometimes she felt anxious and got worked up about it, but then she remembered Barney and how lucky she was to have him. She would never feel alone again with him by her side.

They stayed wrapped in each other's arms on the couch for hours, enjoying each other's company. When Robin started to doze off, she thanked the heavens that she had found her way to Barney. And she fell asleep with an "I love you" on her lips.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! Abusive relationships are always a tough subject to discuss, and although I've never been in one myself, I have friends who have been. If you are stuck in a tough situation, please remember that there are always people who love and care about you, and you never have to stay in that relationship. I love you all and appreciate the time you take to read my stories and review!**


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